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April 2006, Kathmandu
The mass of people cried out loud, chanting slogans calling for freedom and democracy; they slowly marched towards the Royal Palace. With excitement, I watched the crowd passing in front of me, I simply couldn’t stop myself as I too chanted along with them.

The April uprising heralded a sense of change among Nepalis. We all dreamed of democracy, prosperity and equality. At last, the King succumbed and a new era began. There was celebration through out the country. We had finally won.

June 2009, Tehran
Three years later; A similar scene was witnessed, they too were chanting for the same cause; freedom and democracy. Pictures of demonstrations were flickering on my television set. Suddenly a tensed expression gripped the news anchor as he announced that the police were using batons at the protestors and even gunshots could be heard. Of course the causality created uproar as many protestors were dead and thousands injured. Authority took a stand and voices were quelled.

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“What goes behind the curtain, no one knows. Not even the windowpane”

Seriously, when it comes to Islamic Republic of Iran, I don’t know anything. The only thing that we seem to know is veiled woman, stringent rules and the Big Bother policy. How a common Iranian feels about his/her country, the revolution, dreams and future; no one knows, not even another Iranian. Let alone Uncle Sam.

Najir Afisi’s Reading Lolita in Tehran is a window-crack glimpse at Iran and Iranian’s thoughts. This Memoir tells the story of struggle for freedom, happiness, equality and above all being oneself.

After the 1979 Islamic revolution, everything changed drastically with a whim of wind; two different generations of different time-span evolved. One generation lured by the past wanted to restore the past glory with a determination to pay any price for the cause. The other generation wants to continue to live in a dream; a dream to live for the future with no past to dictate their dreams. The struggle of these two contradictory worlds is a story of Reading Lolita in Tehran.

The conflict is so deep yet silent, like a sleeping volcano waiting to erupt but displayed  in different ways. Gatsby, the fictional character, is put on trial to decide whether he’s immoral and a lusty sinner as he is blamed of threatening the society by destroying the decency and morality of Iranian society. However, there is one generation who are fighting to save Gatsby as he stands as their hope to destroy the infidels of the past.

Nafisi reveals how with the revolution, everything that was ascribed from the west was seized accusing and branding them of being anti-Islam, indecent and impure and then destroyed. Even the wonderful imagination of literature became a victim of the draconian policies. Everything was scrutinized in behest of morality, purity and decency. Suddenly quest for love became a sin, imagination became Satan and expression became a distant dream: at least for the women. Woman lost her voices, identity and moreover her independence as it was declared that she needed someone to protect her. Veil was made mandatory and no one could ever imagine how one piece of cover could widen the distance as such. However, those very women are colorful, vibrant and different and despite the harsh condition they do not stop dreaming for freedom and are determined to prove that Happiness is not western, joy is not western, and love is not western. The writer portrays the quiet resistance by the women against oppression.

Through fictional characters like “Gatsby” of The Great Gatsby and “Lolita” of Lolita and writers Henry James and Jane Austen, Nafisi portrays the state of Iranian society after the revolution and beyond it. The book evolves around 18 years and is divided into 4 sections: Lolita, Gatsby, James and Austen. The book opens with “Lolita”, 11 years after “Gatsby”. Nafisi, after resigning from university decides to start private literature class with some of her best girl students to read forbidden works of Western literature. Through Lolita she describes about oppression and how the establishment imposes their dreams upon reality turning people into figment of imaginations. “Gatsby” is set just as the revolution starts. She compares Iranian dreams with American dreams of The Great Gatsby and concludes how like American dreams, Iranian dreams too were corrupted and destroyed in the valley of ashes. “James” follows right after “Gatsby” and describes the state of Iran during Iran-Iraq war. She tells how establishment could use fear to deceive and trap common man leading to believe in hoax. But amidst this chaos also, like Henry James’s character Daisy Miller, she discovers Iranians too want to dream of living their life without judgment and compromises. “Austen” succeeds “Lolita “telling about increasing oppression and clashes of two generations and how later could never get rid of imposed-imaginations despite herculean efforts but still doesn’t stop trying.

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The Culture and circumstances of Islamic revolution and our revolution could be different, but while reading Reading Lolita in Tehran, one cannot help but wonder about more similarities than differences. Like Iranians, we Nepalis too dreamed of a utopian world that seemed to be in near distance but as the April uprising succeeded, the dreams we uphold have slowly started to fade away. Our shared dream of prosperity, equality, peace, freedom, tranquility is lost somewhere in-between and replaced by corruption and oppression. Now we too are left with our past to curse and future to doubt.

(Mandala, Rights, Miss Nepal, Petrol and Dreams)

Every time on my way to the office I pass the “MaitiGhar” mandala, a mandala dedicated to peace but the irony this mandala has never been bestowed with the peace which it was meant to impart. There’s always this 365 days reservation sometimes it’s the homeless, sometimes the indigenous and today staging protest are women activist strongly voicing their dissatisfaction and anger over the hard lined behavior from the police.

The Mandala which was once a magnificent masterpiece of art today stands helpless; as police men stand guard, alert and moodily tied down by their responsibility, many of the police men sit on the gravel surface of the mandala reading the newspaper unperturbed by the strong voices of anger from the women activists’ side.

As many people stand , stare and enjoy the everyday melodrama staged in the Mandala many people also stop and stare at the blue flex board facing the Mandala which reads “13,246 we will still remember”; there’s no doubt that Nepal took a giant leap in history but still we fail to heal and forget the past and this flex board which cautions us of the past reflects the situation of the people who dreamt but today peoples dreams have been blur, weathered and worn off just like the Mandala standing there waiting, just waiting for people to notice its pitiful state.

As I stare outside the microbus window irritated by the honking of horns of the vehicles I wonder when the Mandala would finally get it’s rest and peace, my mind gets diverted as I overhear the discussion of two college going students who were voicing in there dissatisfaction towards the postponement of the Miss Nepal Beauty pageant by the culture preservation team in the constituent assembly the Maoist cultural lawmakers and many other cultural stereotype new Nepal women activist.

Talks about new Nepal also made people talking about their rights and responsibilities. The Maoist lawmakers state their responsibility to disrupt and demolish any beauty pageants that disgrace the standard of women in Nepal (Quoted by: Cultural Maoist law makers) whereas on the other hand the Miss Nepal organizers state their Rights to hold the contest.

In this war of Rights and Responsibilities we stand confused wondering what’s right and what’s wrong: the greater question asked “Is there a rule of law?” if you seek for an answer you have none.

As my fellow passenger asks for a discount adding he has a student card, the driver grumbles irritated and complains that no one understood the hardship and pains he had to undergo to get 3 liters of petrol; that too standing in line for the whole day basking in the killer sun. Even though I had a student card I silently hand over 10 rupees to the conductor as I watch the endless lines of petrol fillers that graced the streets.

Everyone in the micro blamed the government for its inefficiency of solving the petrol crises. The frustration, irritation and anger were pensive in all the faces predicting that their anger would surely materialize one day repeating the constant pressure mechanism: Banda, vandalism, social unrest and the Nepali way of Burning tires.

As I walk through the lonely path towards my office I ask myself “Did the April uprising, the CA election, the peace pact, the election of the historic president make any difference in the life of common people?”

The answer is a retrospective to the past.

We have compromised a lot, compromised with our freedom, rights and even our life.

Even our politicians have compromised: Compromised for chairs not for change!!!

And as for us we’ll always dream, wait patiently for our crown of dreams to materialize. If not today then surely tomorrow.

Credits:
1. The Mandala which seeks its lost peace.
2. The two students of Prasadi Academy.
3. The women activists who fought.
4. The cultural Maoist lawmakers who still advocate culture in shades to stereotype views.
5. And For the people who STILL hope.

• No petroleum products, long queue
• Killing Inflation, no measures to stop
• Unmanaged and paining bureaucratic government offices, still no sense of responsibility
• Political hullabaloo: No work, only debate (That too illogical and mero goru ko barai takka style)
• Pessimistic economy:  Government projected 5.25% growth, still the economy is reeling
• No employment, No quality education, No security
• Escalating violence, No let down in deaths
• Unmanaged city, pollution, traffic mismanagement
• Only concerned about rights not duties, so small issue could build tension and protests and Band
• And much less more….

But despite all these, still

• We got president (At least!!)
• A hope for better future

A hope, I think that’s what necessary at the moment.

कति दिन भइसक्यो संसद बस्नै सकेको छैन । मधेशवादी दलहरुले आफ्नो माग पुरा नहुन्जेल सम्म संसद नै चल्न नदिने रे । अब काम नगरेको समयको पैसा त नलिनु नि । तर किन छोड्थे र भन्या । लुटको धन फुफुको श्राद्ध जस्तै गरेका छन् बा यि नयाँ नेपाल बनाउँछु भनेर कसम खाएका सभासद् भनाउदाहरुले ।

ल तपाई आफै हेर्नुस् है त उनीहरुले अहिले सम्म के के काम गरेका रैछन् त

• नेपाललाई गणतन्त्र घोषणा
• संविधानको चौथो शंसोधन

यति हो संविधान सभा गठन भइसकेपछि गरेका काम । यो बाहेक उनीहरुले संविधान सभा कसरी चलाउने भनेर सामान्य नियमावली धरी बनाएका छैनन् …अरु त के गरोस् ? संविधान सभाको अध्यक्ष, राष्ट्रपति छनौट जस्ता केही काम नै भएका छ्रैनन् र छिट्टै हुने छाँटकाँट पनि देखिन्न ।

आफ्नो दलले जे भन्यो त्यसैमा हो भन्ने बाहेक अरु बुद्धि त खै देखिएको छैन क्यारे । स्वतन्त्र र संप्रभु संविधान सभाको सदस्य भइसकेपछि त कम्तिमा आएका विषयहरुमा आफ्नो के सोच छ, आफ्नो क्षेत्रका मानिसहरुको धारणा के छ भनेर सबैलाई जानकारी गराउनु नि । अब खाली ल्याप्चे लगाएर मात्र त के आफ्नै विवेकको उपहास गरेका होलान् । अब हुन त ल्याप्चे नै लगाउन आएपछि अरु काम त के गरोस् हैन र ??

एउटा भनाई छ नि हुने विरुवाको चिल्लो पात नहुने विरुवाको खस्रो पात । अब तपाई आफै भन्नुस् यो संविधान सभाको पात चाहि तपाईलाई कस्तो लाग्यो ?? हामीलाई त खस्रो लाग्यो क्यारे !

Pic Source: cache.daylife.com
Photographer: Prakash Mathema

Yes!! Money! I don’t know what power it has got, but it’s as equally powerful as god (If he exists of course.) The whole world salutes you if you have this power behind you. Otherwise who would give s*** to Ambanis or Gates or Hiltons? They are rich, so they are famous. So it becomes news and matter of concern even when they sneeze or party all night.

But if you don’t have money power behind you, then you are who?? Nobody. Millions of moneyless people die every day, but who has time to give s*** about them? Are you concerned about Darfur or Humla?? I bet, not.

And not even the humans, animals also know either you are rich or poor and treats accordingly. Have you ever seen dog chasing suited-booted man? No. But yes, those in rags are always barked upon, chased and even bitten. I don’t know how animals can understand the language of money power. They know very well that those who have money should be respected because they give you food. But those in rags, well they can be dealt anyway.

People die to make money. They do everything in their capacity to secure money. They lie, cheat, steal and even kill. But at the end, you take nothing with your last breathe. I don’t know why everyone is crazy about it.

You might be wondering about me, am I crazy about it? Reading this, you might feel, may be not so much. But hold on. Don’t jump to conclusion. Hmm how could I be different too? After all I am also another mere human who wants to be somebody.

Pic. Source: freephoto.com

Britain, Nepal’s former colonial ruler, sent its congratulations after the assembly’s first session.

What does this bold line means? Are Indian media unaware of the fact that Nepal has never been ruled by any other foreign countries? Or this symbolizes their sheer negligence towards us?

Shouldn’t we make them heard the fact? If you think so why not writing to them. Click Here and let’s write to them to correct this blunder error.

I sat outside the lavish boutique, the display consisted of a lavishly done sari beautifully embodied making the mannequin more beautiful. Inside my giggling cousins were truing out dresses for Tihar ( The festival of lights celebrated in Nepal by burning oil lamps and bursting crackers ) and each time the other commented on the dress the duo burst out laughing ( girls I though). I fiddled with my cell phone and furiously typed an SMS to my cousin inside- let’s go please feeling bored! As I sat furious outside a little girl about 6 came near me and looked admiringly at the beautifully done mannequin.

The little girl who was highly impressed by the glitz inside the boutique she carefully tucked her plastic bag in her shoulder as a handbag , and dusted the speck of dust in her government blue school dress she was wearing and carefully touched the butterfly clip in her head that carefully parted he hair on each side.

Her mother called her name as she slowly guided her husband who was drunk, her mother looked embarrassed as her husband shouted absurdities and she was well aware of the stare being awarded by the passerby. The girl ran near her father and pulled his hand and said “father when we have enough money I want a beautiful sari just like that”, her mother told her to shut up and the little girl gave her a cold stare and again pulled her father’s hand and said “father I want green bangles” she fiddled through her faded plastic bangle in her little hand “we have money for that its just 30 rupees” she added stubbornly. Her mother again told her to shut up and dragged the girl along with her drunken father but the little girl was still nagging and demanding for her green bangles.

This really touched me as the girl who was barely six knew that her family was not financially strong to fulfill her desires. Where be the girl be in the future? I thought. Will she be just like her mother married at a young age; with a drunken unperturbed husband? And will her children share the same fate as her’s when she sees her child’s desires being raped by the inequality in the society.

God is biased I thought. Every one of us have bestowed equal fate in the almighty but his grace is bestowed upon only a few. There were people in this world enjoying amful wealth and in the other hand there were people who were uncertain about their future but still didn’t give up dreaming for a future they will never enjoy and dreams that will never materialize.

All the way home I just thought whether the little girl got her green bangles, as I listened to my cousins who fussed over the dress they had brought.

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